Online Dating Tips for Men Over 40: That First Contact

You’ve posted your profile on that online dating site and now you are ready to meet some women. So, just what is the best way to go about it?

There are actually a couple of good ways to start meeting women on online dating sites. If the site has a chat room this may be a good place to start getting your feet wet. Most dating sites that have online chat rooms give you the option of either staying in the chat room or having a private chat. You can start with the open room and just jump into the conversation, telling the people you are new to the site and are just trying to get acquainted. This should at least get you a few friendly responses which will let you find out where different women are from and some other general information. It also allows for some just general chat which allows you to get a feel for some different women’s personalities.

While it is possible to make an instant connection via the chat room route this isn’t usually the case. Most romances that occur via the chat room occur slowly and after repeated visits and chats as women get to know more and more about your personality. The chat room is kind of a generic approach to meeting women.

The better route for meeting individual women is by doing a search based on certain criteria such as age range, location, and other bits of information (like Steve from said). You can then study the profiles of the women who look most interesting and make direct contact with these women through the dating site’s email system. In many cases, you have the option of sending a flirt or an actual email.

If you really find a woman or more than one women interesting then don’t waste your time sending a flirt. Women are less likely to reply to these generic approaches than they are to a personal email. You first email does not have to long or be too detailed. The best approach for an initial email is simply to tell the women you viewed her profile, refer to something in her profile that the two of you have in common and tell her that you would like to know more about her. Ask her to view your email and email her back if she is interested in learning more about you.

Don’t expect an answer back to every email you send. While it is good manners to reply even to say that you are not interested many people simply do not practice good manners. However, in most cases, you will get some replies back as you and the women on the site are there for the same reason to meet interesting new people of the opposite sex.

If a woman contacts you first, and many do. Make sure you reply even if you are not interested in that particular woman. Knowing you are not interested allows them to move on to someone else who seems interesting. While it may seem cold to outright tell someone you have little or no interest in them, it is better than keep them waiting for an email that never arrives.

There are some things that should not be mentioned in the initial emails. Love and sex are at the top of the list. This makes you sound either desperate or perverted and is almost guaranteed to prevent a large number of women from responding. These topics probably will be discussed as you have more contact with the woman and get to know one another.

After the first emails are exchanged if you are stumped for some way to get the conversation flowing always remember that asking questions is a good way to get someone communicating. While many people exchange one or two emails then move right into phone conversations or face to face meetings it is always better to take your time until you are sure you want to take the next step with someone.

If you want to talk via telephone. Then it is better to tell the woman straight up and offer her your number rather than ask for hers. That way she won’t feel pressured and can either offer you her number, call you on her own, and send you an email telling you she would like to know you a little better before taking the next step. Some women are willing to go fast, and others while interested may be a little nervous to meet so if you are really interested to follow her lead.

However, there has to come to a point where the two of you remain pen pals or take that next step. If after a few weeks of getting to know one another she is still reluctant to even talk via the phone then chances are the two of you will never meet and you should move on. If a face to face meeting doesn’t occur within a month chances are that it never will. The only exception is if the two of you live a distance apart then it may take several months before either of you can make a long trip to meet. If this is the case you can gauge by phone conversations whether the relationship is progressing or stagnating and make your decisions from there.

One thing to keep in mind, however, is that online dating is still dating. This means that you are free to contact and go out with as many women that you wish until a relationship evolves with a given one. You don’t have to put all your eggs in one basket until that time so does feel pressured to do so unless you are a monogamous dater.

Remember online dating is all about meeting interesting people and having fun!